My word for this year is rest.
I’ve been focused on trying to breathe in the midst of busyness and trying to use my down time in useful, quality ways. But since the new year started, I’ve been running non-stop. Even my weekends are jammed packed. Ministry. School. Church. Finances.
How can I rest like this?
Then quarantine hit and I’m faced with 21 days of no school, no church, no meetings or get-togethers. So, what do I do? I make a schedule. I fill every hour of each day with things that need to be done, projects, homework, deep cleaning. I’m busy because I make myself busy. Besides, I need to get through these 21 days.
How can I rest like this?
And despite the fact that I have a schedule and an activity for every hour of these three weeks, I also live with four other families in my little enclosed compound. The kids come over and interrupt my schedule because they’re bored and want to play. The mothers plan lunches together. The fathers make runs to the capital city for rationed supplies. I’m part of a family, a unit. We have to look out for each other.
How can I rest like this?
How can I rest when the world is in chaos? When I feel like I’m waiting in the quiet before the storm. How can I rest when I think about the damage my country faces when all this is over? When I want to be on the front lines to help save everyone. But I can’t. I’m stuck. How dare I enjoy the bliss of a day with no schedule?
Then I realized. Maybe I don’t want to rest. Maybe there’s something within me that resists the idea. I love relaxing, collapsing into bed after a long day and vegging on a show. But resting? That’s different.
Resting means relying on God’s control. Resting means trusting in His goodness for the future. Relying on His strength to face it. Resting is not done in moments of tranquility. Resting is done in the chaos.
